Many years ago I had a coach.
Well, not really.
I was reading Christine Kane’s blog and she spoke to me. She was a singer song writer, a creative person questioning life and worrying about it. And I, like many others, flocked to her website to read her wisdom.
I went on to enlist in her uplevel your life program, which opened my eyes on so many things. It explained my unhappiness, uneasiness and oddness with the world.
One lesson at the time really spoke to me. It was so simple that at first I had shrugged it off.
It suggested that each time things are off, bad or not in sync, you should ask yourself whether you’re hungry or tired.
Over the weeks following that lesson I became aware of those moments (at that time there were a lot!). And yes I was either hungry or tired or both. I was basically always tired. I had two small kids, a job, a husband, friends and a big hunger for validation, creativity and a purpose.
And no, my family did not suffice. It did tick many but not all the boxes of my happiness.
I was desperately looking for a way to change that. And it made me so tired. Because my kids and work took up so much time and my husband, though supportive, did not understand that search. I was sleep deprived and running on empty. But to the outside world all was fine. That too cost a lot of energy.
All change starts with awareness.
Once I was aware of being tired all the time, I started some serious self care. Sleep, massage, less projects, etc. It took a long time, a divorce, two moves and a lot of adapting and refocus to change.
Over the years I have found that there are a few more things that keep your life from being in line with your soul.
And of course I did not invent those but they had been there all along. Duh!
HALT originates with Alcoholics Anonymous. It stands for :
They’re the conditions most likely to make people resume drinking.
But you needn’t be an alcoholic to benefit.
Those are now the first questions I ask myself when things are not effortless or going the way I want.
And I can say 100% of the time the answer is yes to at least one of them.
Whether I have forgotten to eat lunch, didn’t sleep enough last night, am holding a grudge against someone or myself, or just simply do not feel loved and need a big hug, fixing those things first, instead of filling my life with other things, gets me back on track.
And knowing that makes me take care of those from the start. So I do make sure I sleep enough, eat well, let go of anger through rituals and friends, get love from family and friends to fill my cup.
It’s not something that comes easy or fast. It’s a learning process. But once you recognize the good it does you, it becomes a habit.
If you want to know how you can do this or need help setting those systems up in your life, drop me a note.
If that’s a bit of a comfort zone stretch, have a look at informal Women, Wine & Wisdom evenings I organise for some female support. Or simply sign up to one of my ‘Create Your Life Steps’ that help you get clear and create the support system to create your life instead of reacting to it.